Right Wing Pundits in US Have a New Enemy... Canada

Stardate 5038.5

Somehow, we have hurt the feelings of many right wing mouthpieces in the US. Maybe it is Paul Martin standing up for an agreement that was welched on by the US, or perhaps it is the critical eye for which many people look at US Foreign Policy through. Either way, idiots like Tucker Carlson have had enough.

Last week, MSNBC host Tucker Carlson told his audience Canada "is like your retarded cousin you see at Thanksgiving."
"He's nice, but you don't take him seriously."
And that was just one of the famously right-wing political pundit's rants.
"Anybody with any ambition at all, or intelligence, has left Canada and is now living in New York," he told his audience, insisting it was pointless to tell Canada not to criticize the United States.
"It only eggs them on. Canada is essentially a stalker, stalking the United States, right? Canada has little pictures of us in its bedroom, right?"
"It's unrequited love between Canada and the United States. We, meanwhile, don't even know Canada's name. We pay no attention at all," he said.

And your lack of intelligence is what, a good thing? Come off it. It is proven by the fact that others seem to think Canada is a haven for terrorists and that we allow them to enter the US to carry out terrorist activities... The thing is, the US needs scapegoats; someone to point fingers at. It was France before, when they opposed the US use of military power. The right wingers went out of their way ridiculing the French for their decision, going as far as renaming a popular potato snack "Freedom Fries". And you talk about Canada having problems and being a retarded cousin.

Then we have that anorexic poster-girl, Ann Coulter spewing drivel out about how fortunate we are to share the same continent as the US and that they don't need us. The fact of the matter is this. Canada is the biggest importer of US goods, period. We have been allies and friends for generations, and will continue to be so. However, it's starting to look like we won't simply roll over and play dead when something goes awry between our two great nation's policies, and big brother to the south doesn't like it when people don't agree with them...

So for Tucker, Ann and the discerning American traveller abroad, I give you this:

The Canada Kit

Now you too can travel the world in safety!!!

No offense to all of the good people I have become aquainted with south of the border. It is with you that hope rests.