Complaining About Jeff...

Stardate 3953.7

I have a complaint to make about Jeff...

In this letter, I will try to describe Mr. Jeff Lawson's treatises in such a way that my language will not offend and yet will still convey my message that Mr. Lawson has made some dangerous assumptions about pretentious, logorrheic bimbos. I want to share this with you because I can no longer get very excited about any revelation of Mr. Lawson's hypocrisy or crookedness. It's what I've come to expect by now. The two things I just mentioned -- the way that on that basis, I should, at this point, indicate in a rough and approximate way the two pestilential tendencies that I believe are the main driving force of modern separatism and the fact that he has shown he's not afraid to be reckless -- may sound like they're completely unrelated, but they're not. The common link is that Mr. Lawson's is the prototypical face of cronyism. That's the current situation, and if you have any doubt about the reality of it, then you haven't been paying close enough attention to what's been happening in the world. In light of my stance on this issue, if we contradict Mr. Lawson, we are labelled unprincipled, wretched scrubs. If we capitulate, however, we forfeit our freedoms.

Even his shills don't care much for his political objectives; they simply wish to associate with other vile drug lords and skewer me over a pit barbecue. I've been rolling up my sleeves in preparation for a long, hard battle against mephitic, ugly idiots. He and his useless factotums must laugh about this in private, knowing that I challenge him to point out any text in this letter that proposes that we should derive moral guidance from his glitzy, multi-culti, hip-hop, consumption-oriented hatchet jobs. It isn't there. There's neither a hint nor a suggestion of such a thing.

If Mr. Lawson wants to bombard me with insults, fine. Just don't make me run for cover while he's at it. I aver I am not alone when I say that at no time in the past did deceitful killjoys shamble through the streets of cities, demanding rights they imagine some supernatural power has bestowed upon them. You can sum up his excuses in one word: biased. Finally, any one of the points I made in this letter could be turned into a complete research paper, but the conclusion of each would be the same: A well-respected professor at a nearby university, writing with the dispassionate objectivity that is a precondition of all scientific knowledge, has recently concluded that there is reason to fear that peremptory blowhards will annihilate a person's personality, individuality, will, and character one day.

You can create your own complaints right here!!!

PS Jeff, I just picked you because I thought you would get a chuckle out of this... :D