Steve "the Catman" Harper

Stardate 6068.50

Some time ago now, I reported some serious problems with stray cats in our neighborhood. There are, of course, many solutions, ranging from simply protecting your garden from cats with various well-known methods, to much more violent means, like shooting them with a pellet gun, or the nasty and evil anti-freeze method (which was later proven to me to NOT be the way to go). However, do to the silly cost that is incurred upon us for pretty much any method, we have done nothing as of yet. After all, they are not my cats, and I really do not see why I should fork out any cash to rid ourselves of the problem.

However, after some very careful research, I have discovered that our glorious leader and saviour, one Steve "H-Dawg" Harper and his loving family, hold the key to my problem. As it turns out, Steve loves cats. He loves cats so much that he and his family often act as "foster parents" for the poor little critters that need special care and attention. I know this because it is brazenly plastered all over our government's new-style web page.

If you have stray cat problems, or a family pet that needs special attention, I urge you to mail your cat(s) to Steve and his family, ensuring that they receive the love and care they so much need.

Office of the Prime Minister
80 Wellington Street
Ottawa
K1A 0A2
Be sure to leave small air holes in the packaging, so that your pet or strays can survive the average 10 week trip that Canada Post would send them on to get from anywhere in Canada to anywhere else in Canada. After all, we all want Steve to enjoy your pet or strays as much as possible. You may also wish to soak the inside packaging in chloroform to ensure there are no hassles with Postal workers and your package.

So now, we know that Steve has a soft spot for pussy...