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    Wednesday, April 27, 2005

    Star Wars: Return of the Pants

    Stardate 3853.2

    Just in case you think you've heard it all... We got our hands on a little known about revision of the original Star Wars movie script that substitutes the word "pants" into many of the lines...

    DARTH VADER: I find your lack of pants disturbing.

    DARTH VADER: General Veers, prepare your pants for a ground assault.

    LUKE: I used to bullseye wamprats in my pants back home...

    LUKE AND HAN: Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants.

    DARTH VADER: You are unwise to lower your pants.

    HAN: You look strong enough to pull the pants off a Gundark.

    HAN: Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.

    LANDO: That blast came from the pants! That thing's operational!

    LEIA: I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board.

    DARTH VADER: A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master.

    HAN: Hey, don't worry. Chewie and me got into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.

    HAN: Maybe you'd like it better back in your pants, your highness.

    GREEDO: Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial cruiser.

    HAN: Short pants is better than no pants at all.

    YODA: Pants not make one great.

    LUKE: I sense the conflict within you, let go of your pants!

    YODA: Pants you I can, yes, mmmmhhhhmmmm....

    HAN: That's because droids don't pull people's arms out of their pants when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that.

    HAN AND LEIA: I love pants. I know.

    HAN: watch it kid or you're gonna find your pants floating home.

    HAN: I thought pants smelled bad on the outside.

    YODA: Your pants, you will not need them.

    WUHER: Your pants. They'll have to wait outside, we don't want them here.

    STORMTROOPER, LUKE AND OBI-WAN: How long have you had these pants? About three or four seasons. They're up for sale if you want them.

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